Tchotchkes And More Tchotchkes Dominate This Canadian Home

The house featured in this week’s column serves as a personal cautionary tale. You see, nothing gets me going like tchotchkes. It is a heck of an admission to make but it is an honest one. It does not matter the trip, I always have to come back with one or two, maybe more, tchotchkes, refrigerator magnets, chainsaw carved statues, etc.

Yes, I am one of those people.

The only difference here is that I do not dust. Just so you know, I giggled to myself when I wrote that sentence. I digress.

Back to the cautionary tale. At some point during the summer, the hubs and I will be moving our daughter from Massachusetts to California. You read that right, coast-to-coast tchotchkes. I get all tingly just thinking about it.

That was until I came across the house for this week’s column. It is in Canada! Canda! Who knew Canadians were so into tchotchkes? 

This four-bedroom, four-and-a-half bathroom home is located at 103 Thomas Street, Milton, Ontario and oooohhhh baby, at almost 4,000 square feet that is a whole lotta room for tchotchkes. The owners are asking $3.1 million.

I present to you the foyer.

Two things my peoples, you will want to watch your step when you walk in or else you will crack your shin on any number of things. Secondly, there are a lot of masks in this house. I mean a lot, a lot. This is just a warm-up.

I do not know what room this is but holy cow, these folks went on some really interesting trips and they like the drinky drinky.

Okay, in the first picture, someone needs to tell me what is with the stand that is next to the table with either a tennis ball or green apple on the top. What purpose does that serve? It detracts from all the other tchotchkes.

As for the second picture, the big mask in the middle of the wall makes me go for the Tums before dinner is served.

Dollars to donuts the wood figure of the guy with the basket on his head was carved with a chainsaw. Those people are artists!

The kitchen is stressful.

There is no way I could cook at that stove with that mask looking down on me. I do not care if there is a little stuffed Santa in between its horns. I cannot take that kind of pressure.

Let me say that a sarcophagus is the ultimate tchotchke and the “Mummies Made in Egypt” by Aliki is fantastic. We decided to mummify our goldfish, Dinky, after reading that book. Not to fear, Dinky happened to die right when we were studying Egypt and mummification. 

Come on, you knew Steve Martin as King Tut was coming. 

And with that ladies and gentlemen, do not forget to tip your writer on the way out. There are a lot of tchotchkes in my future and I will need the moolah to buy them. 

For more photos go here.