Boston Bear Would be Better Off in Colorado

While I was talking to my daughter the other day she said there was a bear roaming around Boston. I told her that I hoped the bear was still wandering around when I visit next month because I love bears. I suggested that someone should feed him honey. Pooh Bear loves honey.

“I really like Boston,” I said. “You got bears roaming around. Sensational public transportation. Really good food choices.”

“I don’t think people were pleased about the bear,” she replied. “It’s not a very bear-friendly city, I think.”

“People are so hard to please,” I said ruefully. “It’s a bear. I’d much prefer to live in a city that has a bear wandering around.”

“Me too,” my girl replied.

I put it before you that the problem is not with the bear wandering loose around Boston but with the people he has to encounter. If I had my druthers, I would befriend said Boston bear over a smackeral of honey and convince him to leave the city where he is not appreciated. I have found the perfect cabin for him and it happens to be the home featured in this week’s column. It is what the Boston bear deserves.

This two-bedroom, one-bathroom bear resort is located at 5665 County Road, Victor, Colorado. It sits on 36 acres and is completely secluded and off the grid. The owner is asking $524,900. Look at all those trees. Señor Boston bear would have his choice of trees of which to scratch his many itches.

Only a city bear would know how to twerk. Undoubtedly the bad influence of city living.

This is perfect. I will use the kitchen to cook my meals while the bear will eat the berries from the many plants and bushes I would plant along the southern exposure. The last thing I would want is for the bear to be hangry.

I have some friends who have the same reaction when they are hungry.

Now I would not expect the bear to use the bathroom but I would still be a solid roommate and plant some more bushes for him to enjoy.

Naturally, this would be the bear’s room. He could grab a snack from the tree on his way to bed. Lord knows the frame is big enough to hold him.

The true magnificence of this listing is the acreage.

What a great place to simply relax and get away from it all. Then at the end of the day, Boston bear and I could sit and enjoy the view.

I can picture it now. We would be sitting and admiring the view and I would call out to the bear to “beer me.” He would hand me a beer and reply “bear me.” We would laugh and would wander off into the sunset. Yeah, bears are great. Now I want one here in Dallas.

For more photos go here.