This Ominous Cordwood Home Will Have You Doing The Time Warp Again

The newly engaged couple was driving down the country road when the storm that had been threatening them all day broke loose. It was dark and hard to see. The rain was battering their car from all sides. They hit an unexpected log in the road and their car came to a rolling stop.

On this Hallow’s Eve, the couple had no choice but to seek shelter at the home of one Dr. Frank-N-….

You can fill in the rest of the story. Which one of us does not know the premise of the cult classic movie, The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Now imagine rather than heading up to Dr. Frank-N-Furter’s mansion they come across the home featured in this week’s column. I tell you, it is just as ominous. This place freaked me out just by looking at the pictures.

This week’s home takes us to South Carolina.

This cordwood construction home is located at 425 Palmetto Road, Darlington, South Carolina. It is a 3,800-square-foot home with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. It sits on .79 acres. The owners are asking almost $200K.

Now I know a lot of you are thinking, it is cordwood construction. Laura Ingalls lived in a cordwood home. Her home was not scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah is my retort.

This is the entry. Another way of looking at this entry is this is where the witches hold their tribunal and your fate is decided. Do you get turned into a stew or tortured in the stretching room?

As you can see, the witches send more people to the stew pot than to the stretching room. That is one well-used fireplace.

Some of you may be thinking I am just exaggerating. But look at the kitchen.

The only time my stove was that clean was when the delivery guys pulled it out of the box and installed it. You know why that stove is so clean? Because all the cooking happens in that stew pot at the fireplace. 

If I had to pinpoint the one singular thing that freaks me out about this house it would have to be the cordwood. The only way I could get through a showing of this home is if I had a big bag of googly eyes and I just stuck them on the logs as I walked through.

There is nothing terrifyingly ominous about the dining room now is there? 

Let us continue. Here is the stretching room.

It is perfect. The witches bring you here and when you do not see the cordwood you drop your guard and your bag of googly eyes. It is at that point they pounce and strap you down to “the stretcher” and go to town.

But really, that is okay.

The only chance you have reaching the toilet paper is if they have stretched your arm long enough to reach said toilet paper.

So there you go my peoples, that is this week’s column. Do not forget to pack your bag of googly eyes the next time you come across a cordwood house.

Googly eyes make everything better. I think Dr. Frank-N-Furter would agree.

For more pictures go here.