It’s The Pits: Only a Villian Like Lex Luthor Could Love This Location
Share News:
When it comes to movie villains, few compare to Lex Luthor. To be specific, I am talking about the Gene Hackman version of Lex Luthor from the 1978 Superman movie.
Hackman’s Lex Luthor was phenomenal. The character was charismatic, flinty, and he appreciated the value of real estate. He was a true visionary. His plan was to wipe out the California coast line so the worthless tracts of desert he bought for a dime would become the new West Coast.
It did not matter that he was bald or wore an ascot. The man had panache and a vision.
Now I know the younger generation thinks Thanos, from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, is the ultimate movie villain because he wanted to eliminate millions of people with the snap of his fingers because the earth is overpopulated. Overpopulation, really? Thanos is simply a diva who has to have all the jewels so he can destroy half of humanity. He is more Thumbos than Thanos if you ask me.
I digress.
Lex Luthor was going to make a killing in the real estate market and still kill millions of people. I think we can all agree that everyone reading CandysDirt.com can respect someone who does well in real estate. And why was Lex Luthor’s plan solid? He knows the first rule of real estate: location, location, location.
Take his Park Avenue address. Any one of us would love to own the paradise Lex Luthor had on Park Avenue. A massive swimming pool, palm trees, a devoted servant, Lex Luthor had it all. Granted it was 200 feet below Park Avenue but remember, it is about location, location, location.
Case in point, the house featured in this week’s column.
This underground home is nowhere near Park Avenue.
This home is located at 2708 4th Ave NW, Great Falls, Montana. It has three bedrooms, one bathroom and is just over 1,100 square feet. The owners are asking $135K.
Okay, everybody ready to do some spelunking?
You know how I know Lex Luthor does not live here? Lex Luthor would never have a Formica table top and all his dining room chairs would match.
He also would not keep his push broom, snow shovel and yard tools in the foyer. Yes, yes, I know I am being generous by calling the corner between the front door and the cabinets the foyer.
Wait, I have seen this furniture before…
Ahh yes, the mole people have sofas like this.
On to the bedroom.
Imagine laying in bed staring at the ceiling and pondering when exactly it will collapse and whether you will be able to dig yourself out before you suffocate.
The only thing that makes sense in this room is the roll of duct tape and the can of WD-40. Those two items alone solve the majority of home repair issues. Even this home, right Lex?
To see more photos go here.
3 Comments
Leave a Comment
I came to this site to recall details related to a crime that was reported here a few years ago…Came across this article which I found incredibly disturbing. I always appreciate an attempt at humor, but this article is just plain mean, literally mocking someone for not being wealthy enough.
Not everyone can afford a multi-million dollar home and not everyone has the capacity (e.g. leisure time, mind space) to maintain their home as if in a magazine.
Whoever owns that home probably sacrificed and saved to achieve that. No, they don’t have a true foyer, or even a place to store brooms out of sight but it seems like a nice, ordinary home – tidy enough, clean enough, lived in. etc. The owners are privileged to actually be able to own the home they live in; so few in the US can afford to do that.
The family who lives there are probably good people, doing their best, living with dignity, e.g probably not writing articles mocking people who have less wealth than they do.
Thank you for the read. Sorry I disappointed you. I will try to do better next time.
Houses like this are a unique artifact into the past when building standards weren’t quite so strict. Basically due to the cold they would build the basement first, which was very expensive. Then as they got more prosperous, they would build a house on top. Not terribly different from building a cabin or one-room house and then adding additions later. Not every family became prosperous enough to add the top addition, so a number of basement-only homes still exist all around the midwest and north west.