This Virginia House Goes With The Grain (Again And Again)

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Remember that old nursery rhyme from elementary school? The kids who could nail that tongue twister would be flexing on those poor souls who would end up just babbling “chuck, chuck, chuck, wood, chuck.”

Well, the house featured in this week’s column is a woodchuck’s worst nightmare. How big of a nightmare, you ask? It would be a big enough nightmare that said woodchuck would have to eat three steak dinners and a baked potato to have the strength to chuck the amount of wood in this house.

The 3,297-square-foot home, located at 1655 Teass Ter, Bedford, Virginia, has three bedrooms, three bathrooms and sits on 25 acres of land. The sellers are asking $624,975. 

While not detailed in the description, I would be willing to bet that the lumber produced to build this house came from the trees that were cleared to make the picturesque prairie. 

The ceiling in this kitchen is a lot. Do not get me wrong, I love hardwoods in a house. When we discovered the original hardwoods in our home during the remodel we were thrilled I swore right then and there that I would never buy another piece of carpeting.

When we moved into our home, I gave the vacuum cleaner to a friend. This house, though, really makes the Richter scale of brain pain hit a 9 or a 10.

This room looks like it is moving at warp speed. 

This is warp speed.

The vertical lines on the floor, walls and ceiling distort the feel of the house to the point where it seems like walking down the hallway or into the bathroom will go on forever.

I hope you packed a lunch because it will take you all day to get from one side of the room to another.

The only reprieve you get from the interior of the house is the view from the deck. It overlooks a very serene prairie.

Looking over the prairie made me think of the perfect couple that would appreciate this house in all its glory.

That is right, Charles and Caroline Ingalls would have loved this house. They would have plenty of room for Mary, Laura, baby Grace, and their dog, Bandit. They would be all a flutter in the prairie with nary a neighbor in sight and a rustic type house filled as much as wood as humanly possible.

As for the woodchuck, he better bring a pack of his buddies because they will be chucking wood until they can chuck no further.

To see the complete listing on this property, click here.

Want to dip your toe in the Wednesday WTF archives? Click here.

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Mimi Perez is a freelance writer and photographer for CandysDirt.com who lives in the Elm Thicket/Northpark neighborhood located in northwest Dallas.

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