Ode To a Sh*tty Week: Posh Potties, Designer TP, Margarita Machines, and More!
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What a week: Power outages. Frozen pipes. Contaminated water. If all you’re wanting to do is stay in bed and pull the covers over your head, we hear you — and couldn’t agree more.
The good news is, we’ve found the perfect goose down comforter. This one, from Riley, received top honors from Wirecutter, the New York Times consumer product rating service. Along with being incredibly warm, it’s well-priced, built to last, and dreamy to sleep on.
After such a sh*tty week, your beleaguered bum could use a break. May we suggest the crème de la crème of commodes: Kohler’s Comfort Height Toilet with Premium Remote Control and Bidet. Over-the-top amenities include a foot warmer, ambient lighting with eight color options, and smart features like auto-flush and Bluetooth-friendly built-in speakers. It all comes for a price: in this case, a staggering $9,750.
Second place goes to Toto’s One Piece Dual Flush Toilet. Along with a super sleek design, this $7,000 multi-tasker features an air purifying system, oscillating comfort wash, and adjustable heated seat.
If there was an award for poshest and priciest potty, it would undoubtedly go to Jemel Wright’s Swarovski-studded stunner. Retailing for a whopping $75,000, it’s probably better suited to an art gallery than a loo.
Prefer something more classic? We found it on 1st Dibs. This Italian-made midcentury porcelain commode sports an intricate paisley design hand-painted by designer Richard Ginori.
If you’re not ready for a toilet upgrade, you can at least take your paper up a notch.
There are plenty of alluring options, thanks to a plethora of Instagram posts featuring eco-friendly and beautifully packaged rolls.
Personal care line Bippy is on a mission to preserve forests from the bottom up. Its tree-free toilet paper comes with a bottle of aloe and chamomile-infused foam that transforms TP into an instant wet wipe. Specially-priced subscriptions are good for your bum and your budget.
Aside from its cheeky name, Who Gives a Crap, you’ve got to love a brand founded on the realization that 2.3 billion people across the world don’t have access to a toilet. WGAC strives to maintain both constant potty humor and making the world a better place: To date, it has donated more than $8.3 million Aussie dollars (that’s $6.3 million U.S.) to charity.
And if losing power and water didn’t wasn’t enough reason to kick back a cocktail (or three), here’s one more: Tomorrow is National Margarita Day.
Cue music: “But there’s booze in the blender…And soon it will render…That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.” (Amen, Jimmy.)
Because any day is better when margaritas are involved, you absolutely need this Margaritaville Jimmy Buffet Signature Edition Frozen Concoction Maker in your arsenal. Unlike a standard blender, this magical machine turns out premium shaved ice designed specifically for boozy blended drinks.
Taco Tuesday’s budget-friendly version is a two-in-one juicer and margarita kit perfect for whipping up margaritas, daiquiris, frosé, even fresh fruit slushies. This one gets extra points for its pulp control filter and measurement-marked vessel. Best of all, it comes complete with all your happy hour essentials—think lime juicer, serving pitcher, salt and sugar rimmer, and four margarita glasses.
And just when we need it most, it’s also National Girl Scout Cookie Weekend. Feel good about ordering up boxes of Samoas, Do-si-dos, and my personal favorite, Thin Mints. Every year, the sale of Girl Scout cookies raises more than $800 million, making the program the largest girl-led business in the country.
