I’ll be honest: I was reading the doom& gloom real estate report in the Wall Street Journal last night, and gearing up to post something for you because, honestly, I always want to tell you the truth about the market. I know financing is 100% of our problem with the double dip — oh and I just heard that FDIC chair Sheila Bair is out effective July 1.

But I just could not write it. And I’m glad.

This morning I talk to Jeff Mitchell and David Griffin, to learn that 960 Kessler Parkway went under contract within one day of listing, and I think, where is this damn depressing data coming from? Further: Jeff tells me that of the last four homes he has sold, they all sold within four to five days of listing. I talk to my banker on Friday. She lives in Merriman Park Estates where prices have actually gone up! She bought her home in 2005 and it’s worth today more than it was then. Highland Park, she tells me, is where values are down.

The real estate market is a huge head-scratcher.

So get this: Jeff and David list Kessler on April 22, 2011. The next day, Pete Ryan from Briggs Freeman Sotheby’s brings in a client, who plops down a contract later that afternoon pretty close to asking ($995,000). Today is the last day of the option period and my guess is that by the time you are reading this, Kessler will be sold on paper and Todd will have had 24 hours to recoup from the Schlegel wedding and then start packing. He paid over $799,000 for the property in 2006.

I’m telling you, there’s no rest for the wicked and that includes ME! And BTW, Kessler Park real estate is on fire!

I was glued to the tube Sunday night watching Scott Pelley, who once worked at WFAA-TV in Dallas,¬† reveal something so awful I still cannot believe it. We all know how Wall Street cut corners when it created Credit Default Swaps, those mortgage-backed investments that some bet for, some bet against, AIG “insured” and which ultimately triggered the financial collapse in 2008 that almost brought on another Depression. And we’ve heard how mortgages were sold so quickly from one bank to another as they were shuffled into (what we thought were) rated “tranches” that paperwork got sloppy — remember robo-signing? Well, now come the foreclosures, a million last year, probably a million this year. But in some cases, the legal documents behind the mortgages don’t exist or are not drafted correctly. So you won’t believe this: the big banks in our country may be forging names and throwing together paperwork to CYA by outsourcing to document companies that re-create documents and pay people $10 an hour to sign their names — and notarize — these documents. They do this so they can go to court and foreclose on the home.

As Scott Pelley reports, in the 1930’s we had bread lines. Today, we have mortgage lines. In Miami, Fla. in February, 12,000 people showed up at a convention enter event to ask banks to lower payments on what are probably adjustable rate mortgages they can no longer afford. Pelley talked to FDIC Chairman Sheila Bair, who thinks rotten mortgages are so threatening to our economy the government should force banks to pay into a massive fund:

“You think there needs to be a cleanup fund like for a natural disaster?” Pelley asked.

“I do. Yes, somewhat like that. Yes, this is yes this is one of human-making, but yes,” Bair said.

“You don’t want to give an exact dollar amount for this cleanup fund, but what are we talking about. Is it billions?” Pelley asked.

“Yes. I would assume it would be billions. Yes,” she replied.

Bair’s proposed cleanup fund would pay homeowners to accept a bank’s ownership claim without a lawsuit. She says this could be cheaper for banks than trying to recreate the missing documents legitimately – not through document mills.”