You know that Santa Fe is practically a bedroom community of Dallas. Well, here’s your chance to own a bedroom on the Pecos River minutes from downtown Santa Fe. Actor Val Kilmer — as in Batman Returns, etc. — wanted to use his 6,000 acre Pecos River Ranch in New Mexico as a sustainable, green community-type bed and breakfast. And New Mexico’s San Miguel County said yep, that’s OK. There have been some reports that Kilmer, who may not fit into the Batmobile so well these days, also wanted to run for governor of New Mexico. But then, he made some unfavorable comments about the area, including a quote in Rolling Stone magazine about how he lived in “the homicide capital of the Southwest.” Kilmer did, however, apologize. I think he’s right on: friends who live in Santa Fe have said the same thing, actually — SF’s a rough little town, as much as I love it.¬† When I stayed there, I almost died when I realized I’d left the back door un-locked. But I felt safe at this great in-town fractional called The Residence Club at El Corazon de Santa Fe, because I was right off the square. There are parts of Santa Fe that really are as dangerous as Mexico, maybe more so. Before you buy there, let’s talk.

Well, now Kilmer has the ranch on the market price super slashed with Santa Fe Realty Partners for $23 million.

The Pecos River Ranch is about 22 miles northeast of Santa Fe, with wildlife, 10 natural springs, world-class fishing and more than 50 miles of hiking and biking on a beautiful trail system. The 10-bedroom, 10-bathroom home has 11,573 square feet.

(Don’t you love it when celebs with 11,000 square foot homes talk about sustainability? Calling Al Gore…)

The property was first listed by Orvis/Cushman Wakefield in 2009 for $33 million but did not sell. In July 2010, it was listed with Darlene Streit of Santa Fe Realty Partners.¬† It is also the only ranch around that has actual water frontage: a seven-mile stretch of the Pecos River, fishing nirvana. Last year, Kilmer told a local TV station that he put the ranch on the market to try and attract a biz partner. (Ok…)

Curiously, the website for Val Kilmer’s Pecos River Ranch is still alive and kicking. Smart guy: not too many buyers kicking the tires of $23 million dollar homes these days.

Of course this is what you need for the ultimate Santa Fe real estate “re-treat”. Or shall I say, tweet? I mean, if 8,000 square feet is one big mama house, 18,000 can only be better! Check out this magical 17 acre¬† oasis at 14-18 Destierro Trail – so big it hogs up four addresses — in the rolling hills of the Pojoaque Valley. The 17-acre property could be the ultimate family compound, especially if you are Mormon. Or have very pesky in-laws. The spread includes a main residence, guest house, Hacienda with private-entry guest rooms, and a Main Hall complete with kitchen, dining, and private “session” rooms. (Private sessions, eh. ) Very high-end finish outs and the joint is loaded with antiques from around the world. That plus meditation rooms, gardens, reflective pools, and centuries of ambiance enhanced by rooftop terraces, portals, and fountains. There are 16 bedrooms, but only 14 bathrooms dang it, great room with kiva fireplace, shower/steam/massage rooms, and all masters are decked to the nines. I mean, how many times does a retreat come on the market? Ten Thousand Waves is up the street but hey, with a place this size, who needs to step one bare tootsie out the door? Value-priced: $7.5 million.

(Please re-tweet this retreat!)