Another one of those inane magazine surveys, but this one is a hoot and really ought to be one of Rick Perry’s talking points: according to Men’s Health magazine, three of four major Texas cities are in the top ten list of America’s most sex-happy cities. That is, these are the cities where people appear to be having more great sex than others, determined by looking at condom purchasing rates, buying of sex toys, birth rates (the whoopsie factor) and STD’s (gross). The top Texas cities on the list are Austin, number one, Dallas, the number two spot in fact, and — this is really amazing — Arlington, seventh. Must have something to do with the Rangers. Or maybe the Superbowl last winter.
Most of the top sex-happy U.S. cities are in the south, where the most unhappy sex cities (they don’t buy condoms, sex toys, get preggers or catch STDs) seem to be in the northeast. I’ve lived in the northeast. Not surprising. I am surprised, however, that sunny California did not make the top ten. Could be that despite that “peace and love” exterior, Californians are really quite an uptight, messed up bunch who spend way too much time stressing in traffic which decreases fertility rates, among other things. At least Texans are smart enough to use condoms, which indicates that whoever is having sex in the Lone Star State must be under age 45. Studies show the dumbest age group when it comes to condom use are Baby Boomers over age 45 who think because they no longer have to worry about pregnancy, they no longer need to use condoms. That’s why STD rates have more than doubled in this age group! Triple gross!
I propose another reason: we have better master bedrooms in Texas.